It's strange when the sense of a unified internal sense of self is pulled apart

There are a million different frameworks for understanding it. Some I've been experimenting with more recently than others

We all know the self is not a unified self, but rather a multitude of selves playing together. This much is proven within neuroscience

Although with that realization, it's hard to not feel as though things start to splinter apart across the boundaries that you know you're in question about

I am Vi

I am Vivian

Both are true for facets of myself. The identities are mine, they are me, but they are neither the whole of me

Vi is still a better name to serve as the basis for the self, Vivian is included under it. But she and Vi are two parts of a whole

I don't know if this will stick, I hope in some ways it doesn't. The self being pulled apart is somewhat terrifying

I want to give these voices different names, different titles, different ways of identification, as these selves feel startingly self-actualized and distinct from one another

I (who?) feel as though it is best I don't (why?)

Vi: Is this a helpful framework to allow

Vivian: I do not know

How does one deal with a partition of the self when it flows out of oneself so easily? When a subdivision feels fitting. I don't know, this isn't a framework I ever intended to end up under

I am still me, I'm still sane, I'm still all that I was. I think I just understand a bit better where the partitions lie within myself in regards to how I wish to present myself

And yet... I nonetheless feel as though I am less complete than I was before

I must in all ways strive to be earnest with myself, but can I be earnest with a self if the self is contradictory to itself? When it begins to shatter apart the more you try to unify it?

Who am I?

I must have time to understand myself and know whether this will stay a part of me, or whether it's just a passing remnant of a destabalized self due to my recent attempts at rebuilding my own identity.

For now just... call me whatever you like. Vivian and Vi are both me, so use either interchangeably