To preface this and give a bit of context, I wrote this poem a month ago, the night I started HRT

For most of my life, I felt like I could never be a woman. That the urges I had were wrong to have and that I needed to bury them. That because others saw me as being a man, I could never be anything else. That I was in some way wrong for desiring to be something else

This was a stupid belief, lol

I say that with humor, but it does genuinely enrage me that I was ever made to think this. I'm only thankful that I'm managing to slowly claw my way away from it

I've always been a woman, the urges I had of it were proof of that from the start. And as I take these feminizing medications day after day, I am slowly becoming more and more of what I belong as.

I already have some breast development. Which, firstly, oww. But also, secondly, this quite nice

I was really worried about breast development before I started HRT, and I honestly have no idea why. This is fantastic. 10/10.

The past few months before starting HRT were a constant cycle of pain and despair. Part of me died in that time, and that's... okay. It was a part that never was happy to be alive. It hurts to leave behind a part of myself, but I already feel much after having done so.

I've never been a man, I'll never be a man. And the part of me that clung to that which I never was is gone

My name is Vivian, and I am a woman