Note, this is from some rambling I did over Discord, so this isn't the best polished thing I've ever written
Every step I take in my transition, I just feel... like... me... even more genuinely and truly with every little step I take
There's a lot of wounds, there's a lot of trauma, I had to break a lot of parts of myself to get here, and those parts won't ever go back to being the way they were. But I'm becoming a stronger person around them. The fixes I'm making are leaving me a stronger person that I was before
The only people who think they're mentally healthy are just in denial about the parts of them that aren't
The human mind isn't built to be perfectly healthy, because it is part of the body, and the body isn't perfectly healthy
The body is just a bunch of systems that all try desperately to do their job, and that tends to produce a functional organism. But very often those things will break down, or weaken, or need other things to function
The mind and body are the same in this regard
They are both sets of systems, each trying their best to do their job. And they all have their own ways of repairing themselves and keeping themselves functional for the things that inevitably end up damaging them
No person lives their whole life without ever getting a scrape or cut, heh
There is only the components, there is no central self beyond that.
These inner components could have higher dimensional interfaces with reality, there is potential for a concept of a soul within this. But we as a species lack proof for this on a scientific basis
The mind can be separated from the body, but only in the sense of simulating the components that make it up and having them bounce off one another in all their complexities.
The difficulty of simulating this is just a matter of how abstracted these complexities can be made, and that'll probably come down to taking advantage of complex physics we don't quite yet understand as a species yet
None of this is said out of some existential panic. It's more just a realization, a clarification, saying things I've always thought. But now phrased in ways that just click together more logically for where my head is at now
There's no one system, no one intelligence, no one self
Just a split and segmented self that hands off its duties between itself
Just a complex web of interactions held within the brain, which interface with the sensory organs and that which we interact with. This keyboard I'm typing on, this screen I'm looking at, are as much parts of my mind as everything else. They are extensions of me
There is only the universe, and the universe contains within itself us, little extensions of itself that have built themselves up to behold itself
We are one with everything, we only lack the proper facilities to interface with everything in these systems that our bodies have constructed out of billions of years of evolution
There is no difference between the complex interactions of a star and the complex interactions of a mind, of biology. They are simply a difference of scale, of purpose.
Intelligence is just a function of an ecological niche our ancestors happened to fall into, which led to a species which overflowed in that regard. Still just as much part of the universe, no matter what we do, no matter how we reshape it. We will always be one with it
There is no wrong way to process the absurd nature of our reality, when beheld for all that it truly is
One must simply forge the path that feels right.