Grief is a harrowing experience

It's something I've been caught within the cycle of for the past couple of days. The specific thing that sparked it is irrelevent. It was just one part of the current onslaught on queer rights in the United States from the current government.

Something about some recent bit of the news just split me open and left me struggling for air. Unable to parse the situation. I was in a panic. I felt trapped. I felt like reality was closing in on me

And it was... grief. Grief over the shattering of my delusional hope that this wasn't happening. Grief for realizing that things may get worse before they get better. Grief upon the realization that people in power are trying to fight against my existence

And it's... hard. Hard to accept that my existence is so abhorrent to some that they will manufacture lies about my existence. Turning their victims into monsters, demonizing our existence

But... I must accept this. I have known it for a long time, I simply haven't accepted that it is the truth. I've struggled to accept that these people that hate me so will try to stand in the way of my existence, my happiness, my rights as a human being

I will not be silenced

The horrors may persist, but so shall I

I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it

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I will continue to be happy. I will continue to find joy in this life. I will be the woman they want so desperately for me to not be

I will not yield

I will not die

I will live