What is the self?

Can one truly define any identity as wholly singular? Is there any single state of mind that one occupies at all times?

Clearly not! Everyone at different times feels different ways. To say that anyone has a singular sense of self is laughable! Everyone has fragments within their mind. Ideas that don't quite mesh with them at all times, things they think but that don't quite make sense to their current headspace, but they drift into another and it makes perfect.

This is neurological, this is how the brain physically works! To say otherwise is to deny the science on these matters. The brain physically is made of different components and systems. They trade around information.

Thought is not localized in one place. Identity is a manifestation of the complex interplay between these components

And that all is true, of course. But how far should one go regarding this? Is it reaching too far to ascribe this trait of human psychology any importance.

Possibly, but possibly not. To say that the mind must cleanly occupy a state and that all variations therein must be understood as one clean, unified self... this feels wrong somewhat. It just doesn't mesh with what I know of how the mind works. And if exploring these states of mind and giving them their own voice helps, is it not right?

Sure, sure, but like... I dunno. Why is this of any special note in the first place? One being able to subdivide their brain into multiple voices indicates nothing other than the person being good at imaginging conversations and being able to hold multiple trains of thought. Why try to give it any more importance than that?

Because to not give it any importance denies oneself the ability to allow themselves this flexibility in thinking.

To demand oneself always be of one self, to demand one's thoughts always be consistent with some unified sense of self. These modes of thinking disallow any fragmentation, they force the mind to conform.

It only causes more damage.

And is it not likely that these pieces would run away from one another when the mind has been so strictly controlled for its entire life?

That a self who is prone to disconnection from one's own thoughts and emotions, suddenly untethered by this, wouldn't have the cleanest mode of thinking?

I mean sure, yeah, but like... why does that matter? I dunno, like, I get it, but... I also don't? It doesn't feel right

But it does

Which proves the point you're making, yeah. This disagreement with myself is proof of it.

And if there's no competent reason to not look at these things this way, is it not right to do so?

I mean I have a degree in psychology for heaven's sake! It's not like I don't know what I'm talking about regarding these things. Why would I deny myself the ability to explore my mind fully using the tools I have gained through my education?

Exactly, yeah

But I also value stability. I need to make this forest into a garden, and how can I do that if I allow the weeds to grow without my maintenence?

You are not creating a strict and clear cut garden dear. You are creating a garden of the forest. To smash and cut everything into its perfect shape is simply to re-create the suburbia of identity that trapped you before.

The garden isn't meant to be pretty, it isn't mean to be simple. It is just a way of navigating the forest that is your mind.

The forest that is your life, your experiences, your joys, your sadness, and everything else

Ugh...

I wish these things were easier to think through

You and me both, hehe

...

This is simply an abstraction

Or is it?

This blog post is an attempt at me trying to parse through some thoughts I have. I feel conflicted regarding these things, and want to air out both sides of my thoughts

I do not wish to be given labels, I do not wish to claim labels for now. I simply wish to try to parse through the things that are happening in my head, and that is what this blog post is

If you do not care for this, move along. I will continue to make blog posts about me messing with tech or carpentry stuff and whatnot, hehe.