Sandra was my first chosen name

Back in 2019, I was first starting to explore the idea that I might not be cisgender

I joined a server I frequented with an alt account named Sandra.

I was insecure about being trans. I didn't want it to be the case. I made up any reason I could for this to not be me being trans. Despite the fact I clearly wanted to be seen as a girl, it was a feminine name I had chosen

In the place I stored the password for the account in, I wrote this text next to it... "This is not for catfishing, and no I'm not secretly trans. I just need an alt account for something."

Denial is an impressive thing, lol

I nearly figured it out back in 2020

I... do not even remotely know how the egg did not crack for me with this. Somehow I managed right after this to post this, which also led to some hysterical replies from others in the community

"it started with a name for me too" is so fucking funny in retrospect, lmfao

It took me 3 more years for my egg to actually crack.

I wanted to be a girl far earlier, I was desperate to escape the shell I was enclosed within

I just was too scared to do it until years later

It was only with years of support from my peers, years more of education about transgender issues, and slow and steady exploration that I managed to finally crack my egg